How to be comfortable outside of your comfort zone...
I have to admit; this title is slightly deceiving because the truth is; being comfortable outside of your comfort zone is not as simple as reading someone’s blog entry that was motivated by an early morning youtube video. Here’s why.
If it were that easy to learn how to be comfortable while uncomfortable, everyone would be doing it. When I started talking about this concept about one year ago, I had no idea that it was actually a legitimate piece of the puzzle for those who are successful vs. those who are not.
The only reason I started talking about it was that I wanted people to truly understand why I was able to make some of the life-changing decisions that I did. It wasn’t because I was stronger than anyone else, or smarter, or had more money (because lord knows I am broke), it was 100% because I did not allow others internal fears of the unknown affect my decision making. I knew that regardless of how terrified I was, and how uncomfortable I was with the un-known parts of my future, I knew that if I did not make those decisions just as I did, my life would never be how I wanted it to be.
My life would go back to the same way it was two years ago today, just weeks before Nick’s untimely death. Back to when Nick and I felt stuck. Stuck in our jobs. Stuck in a city we hated. Stuck in a situation where we knew we were capable of so much more but had no idea how to get there.
I am able to make the decisions I have made because I have experienced all of our worst case scenarios. I have experienced what happens when you run out of time. Nick had so many dreams, so many desires, and so many ideas on how to make his life more abundant and aligned with his soul. He was passionate, and determined, and one of the hardest workers I had ever known.
He reminded me so much of my Dad.
Nick was afraid. He was so afraid of the unknown and the uncomfortable. He was so afraid of failing, and he was so afraid of never being good enough.
Nick ran out of time almost two years ago today, and I sit here and wonder, would we have been in this same position had he lived? Would we have made change? Would we have faced our fears and left Calgary for lower paying jobs and a less desirable house? Would we have made decisions that aligned with our soul and not with what everyone else thought we “should” be doing?
I don’t know.
All I know for sure is that Nick ran out of time, and at that exact moment in which he ran out of time, and his life ended; my life was given a second chance. My life was given the opportunity to grow without fear because I already had to face my worst case scenario and from here on out there was nothing that felt nearly as terrifying than what I had already had to live through.
I am not sure if there is a day that goes by that I don’t wonder and imagine what Nick was thinking as he lay dying in his hole under the snow. I often wonder if he had regrets. I wonder if he thought about what he might do if he came out alive. I wonder if he would have come back and told me “THAT’S IT,” life is too short and mine almost ended, we are finished talking; let’s start doing.
I often wonder what he would have hoped for my future.
Would he have wanted me to go back to going through the motions and not fully living? Existing yes, but not living. Would he have wanted me to continue on in a job that was sucking the life out of me and that I knew was not reaching my potential? Would he have wanted me to settle for what was comfortable?
I think we all know the answer to this.
The last few months have been tough. I am working hard on my psychology courses but at the same time I am running out of money, and I am not sure how I am going to pay rent let alone my education. Could I go get a job? 100% I could, and I know that if it came to that, I would not allow my ego to get in the way. At the same time though, I know that I am capable of so much more.
Getting a traditional job would be the easy way out. I am not meant for easy.
Neither are you. You are capable of much more than you give yourself credit for.
Instead of allowing my discomfort to distract me from what I am meant to be doing I wake up every morning, and I continue to work towards what I know is my calling.
My business is up and running, I am confident in my ability to help others, and I am so excited to watch people grow into the best versions of themselves. Marketing scares me but I have a ton of faith that things will work out just as they are meant to as long as I DON’T GIVE UP.
This is the exact point in which entrepreneurs give up, but I refuse.
The point of this blog today is that I want to remind everyone that it is never too late to live the life you imagine and it is never a good idea to wait until you are hit in the face with undesirable circumstances.
I am a life coach, aspiring published author, and will someday be a psychologist. This is my passion and my dream, and as long as I can be comfortable with the uncomfortable and not allow myself to be discouraged, I know that I will succeed.
I watched a presentation from a bright eight – year old this past weekend at a women’s entrepreneur summit. She asked, “what is the difference between you and those who succeed?” She was talking about people who focus more time on the “I can’t” energy, than on the dream energy. She said the following:
“While you are busy crying; they are busy trying.”
Brilliant. Nothing like an eight-year-olds perspective to kick you right in the butt. She wants to be the Prime Minister of Canada someday, and I do not doubt if she continues with this mentality; she will.
February is a very difficult month for me. As it arrives it brings me so much pain as I reflect on the memories of that day, and the days leading up, where we were so oblivious to what was about to transpire. We thought we had all the time in the world. To get married, to have babies, to live out our dreams.
As much as my demons tell me to dive back into my hole and hide from February, I know that I have to keep my head up, my heart grounded, and my desire to live the best life at the forefront of my mind. Grieving is okay and honouring that grief is a must, but getting stuck there is not an option if I want to get things done and continue to move forward.
Trust me, it is not easy when anniversaries are approaching.
I will leave you with this. I ask that each day you take fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes where you are alone and able to focus, and I ask that you do the following:
1. Read five minutes of an inspiring book or blog written by someone who lives the life you desire.
2. Watch a five-minute (or longer) motivational video that gets you pumped up and;
3. Take five minutes to write down your greatest desires, and one step you can take each day to make them happen.
I promise you, if you do this every single day you will experience a shift. It is what gets me through the down days and what helps me stay grounded and empowered.
I have also shared a link below of one of the videos I watch often that helps remind me why I am doing what I am doing and one of my favorite parts of this video is this statement:
“Most people are not willing to switch from what’s comfortable to what’s uncomfortable long enough for the new to be comfortable”
Take care and Live Fearlessly